Transgender Tapestry & The International Foundation for Gender Education FAQs (frequently-asked questions)

Being alone is one of the greatest fears of many transgender people, and dating is a difficult isssue for almost everyone. Yet there are many, many success stories of people who have found loving, committed partners after transition. There is definitely hope.

Disclosing a trans history is an unsettling and sometimes risky necessity. You need to use your judgement, which can only be improved with experience. Before the first date is too soon, after you have sex is too late. That first date weeds out a lot of candidates to whom disclosing whould just be a waste of time. The longer you wait after that, the more difficult it becomes.

As for who to date: you date the people who you are attracted to and who are attracted to you, no matter who you are. Meeting these people is the tricky part, there is no single right way. Some people have luck online, but this method often attracts many unwanted advances. Personal ads are similar in nature.

Perhaps the best way to meet compatible people is simply to get out of the house and do the things you like to do. Go to a show. Join a club. Go bowling. Join the choir. This makes you accessible, a vital component of meeting people. It also puts you in the company of people with similar interests.

Learning to be comfortable with yourself, and by yourself, also seems to attract a much more suitable range of people (not a minor undertaking). Dogs may smell fear, but dates can smell desperation like too much bad cologne.

Finally, don't expect to meet your soul mate in a bar. Turn off that television, get out there, and be yourself!