In my reading I learned that no one decides or chooses to become a transsexual. Think about it, why in God?s name would anyone ever choose to do something as unusual or as difficult as change their gender? No, this is actually a biological condition that these kids are born with. Despite attempts to forge ahead and try to be the gender your body says it is, like join the military to be more ?masculine? or marry and have babies to be more ?feminine? there are countless transsexuals whose stories all say the same. That the body and the brain just don?t line up, despite attempts to will it away. A transsexual has but one of three pitiful options: to pain fully go through life pretending to be someone they are not, or to end the torture by ending their life, or choosing to transition over to make things match. Given these choices, which would you want for your own child, or for yourself?

The interesting thing is that now that she has decided to finally come out with the truth, my daughter seems happier, like a huge burden has been lifted from her shoulders. Yes, it is difficult to start referring to your son as your daughter, and using different pronouns. But, after several months into it, it finally dawned on me when I realized that I don?t have a son who wants to be a daughter. I have a daughter who is trapped in the body of a boy, and needs help in getting out and over. Her father and brother struggle with this, but overall remain loving and supportive, doing the best they can in their own way.

Sadly, in many cases, transsexuals are dismissed totally from their family systems, judged by them to be too much of a perverse oddity to be supported. These are the trans folk who are driven to the streets in a cold cruel world that at this juncture remains largely ignorant and thus fearful of this population. Horror story after horror story abound as trans folk try and integrate into society, in pursuit of basic needs for survival, like gainful employment or a place to live. Most disenfranchised minority populations have experienced severe and debilitating discrimination and at worse, vengeance, but many groups have successfully fought for and gained legal rights to protect them. Antidiscrimination laws are now on the books, and that means people cannot be excluded from jobs or housing based on race, sex, age, religion, disability, or sexual orientation. Unfortunately, these equal protection laws do not apply to transgender people, except in a handful of states and some individual counties and municipalities. As my daughter seeks to find a summer job, she is beginning to face the harshness of the world, as she gets turned down repeatedly, job after job. She is educated, smart, and sweet and kind, yet no one is rushing to embrace her strengths or appreciate her talents, or to just give a kid a chance.

What most people are not aware of is the hundreds of transgender people who live amongst us who successfully transitioned at a young age, and are living ?in stealth.? In other words, they had the means and support in many cases to get to the other side, and integrate into society. Sometimes they move to a new area, and start a whole new life, often times successfully, integrating a multitude of professions. The transgender person you see on Jerry Springer is the exception, and unfortunately this kind of tabloid style exposure tends to create an unwarranted negative false perception of what a transsexual is. Recently, a daily soap opera featured a character that was transitioning from male to female. The show did this with dignity and served to educate its viewers. In April, MSNBC did a documentary about transsexual college age kids. It too was done well, and served to bring this mystifying issue to light. And Barbara Walters did a wonderful show on 20/20 dedicated to the personal stories of three transgender kids and their supportive families. Newsweekhad a featured cover story on Gender Identity. This is a refreshing sign that perhaps the time has finally come to remove the cloak of secrecy and shame for this population of people who just want their Constit utional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.