Topic: Monica Helms

By Monica F. Helms

Veterans Day is one the three most important days in this country when it comes to patriotism and pride. At the eleventh minute, of the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month, we start the day honoring all the veterans who have served this country, both in peace and in war. Today, we have 26 million military veterans in America, but sadly, we lose 1500 WWII each day and a similar number of Korean War veterans as well. Soon, the Vietnam War veterans will pass away in similar numbers.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #104, Winter 2004.
by Monica F. Helms

So, this is the part of the column where Monica gets to be funny and clever. I get to spin words in order to bring the reader into a fantasy world, or create an alternative reality. It is my quarterly moment, my chance to escape into another realm, be creative, to dance within the beauty of the English language. It is the time when I open my soul for others to see.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #105, Spring 2004.

by Monica F. Helms

As always, Dallas has given me more work than an Army pack mule. She even has a mule whip in her office to keep me and the other columnists in line. I suspect some act up on a regular basis just so Dallas can pay them a private visit with the whip. I don?t understand. Am I missing something here?

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

by Monica F. Helms

A dark and dismal Phoenix apartment sits empty, waiting for its one lone occupant to return. Enter one Monica Helms, a broken shell of a transsexual woman, eking out a meager existence in a life of endless solitude and anonymity. Little did she know, as she put her groceries away, that her life would soon change. The concept of change is not unfamiliar to a transsexual. However, the kind of change Monica will experience can only be found in? the Twilight Zone.? (Insert theme music here.) Monica placed the last can of baked beans on the shelf. ?My life is so dull and boring,? she sighed. ?Just once, I wish I could have a little excitement.?

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #102, Summer 2003.

by Monica F. Helms

I was going through my morning routine, getting ready for another day at Tapestry Towers. Only a few months ago, we all thought we would lose our jobs because of the lavish spending of the editor, Dallas Denny. However, Dallas used her beguiling ways to convince a Saudi sheik to float a multi-million-dollar loan, which in reality should be considered a ?gift,? as she has no intention of paying it back.

As I adjusted my skirt and slipped into my flats, I heard what sounded like a knock at the door. Rounding the corner into my living room, I saw the strangest thing?the air in front of the door appeared distorted, like ripples in a pond. The ripples increased in intensity and air started rushing into the center. The turbulence was so intense that papers flew off the table and into the opening.