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Managing a relationship, any relationship, is a difficult job. We all come into relationships with "baggage," usually unbeknownst to our partners. It's this unseen and unspoken baggage that typically gets us into trouble with our partners. Most of the time, we don't even know we're carrying baggage around with us. Transgendered people are different in that respect. They usually are well-aware of their baggage. They most often just don't know what to do with it, how to deal with it, or how to shed it so their relationships can flourish. They are so often wracked with guilt that they dare not reveal their true nature to their partners. What a damn shame! So, here we have two people, Matt and Linda, who come into a relationship, but who have learned how to deal with the issues they bring with them. Foremost is how to integrate Vanessa, Matt's femme persona, into the relationship. And, as you'll read, they've found ways that work very well for them. It's important to realize there are no formulas to solve relationship issues. Neither Vanessa nor Linda offer any pat answers. Instead they give us insights into the respect and dignity that is the bedrock of their relationship. They show us by example that transgendered people can have a successful loving relationship. We will learn much from how they've addressed the many issues common to couples with one transgendered partner. Of particular interest is the chapter on Sensuality and Sexual Issues. I recommend you read it first - Jo Ann Roberts, Ph.D. |
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