She's Not the Man I Married:
My Life with a Transgender Husband
by Helen Boyd
311 Pages (paper) - Seal Press (CA) 2007
Helen Boyd's husband, who had long been open about
being a crossdresser, is considering living as a woman full-time.
Suddenly, Boyd is confronted with the reality of what it will
mean if her husband were actually to become a woman--socially,
legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner
the same way? Boyd's first book, My
Husband Betty, explored the relationships of crossdressing
men and their partners. Now, She's Not the Man I Married is both
a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships.
It's for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers
who fall anywhere along the gender continuum. As Boyd struggles
to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares
her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of
the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope--or
don't--with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles
can bring to our marriages and relationships.
Bios: Helen Boyd and Betty Crow
Helen Boyd is the author of My
Husband Betty (Thunder?s Mouth, 2004) which was nominated
for a Lambda Literary Award and is now in its 6th printing. Her
second book, She?s Not the Man I Married: My Life with a
Transgender Husband (Seal Press, 2007), has been called ?the
(im)perfect modern love story? and ?a postmodern reflection
on transness.? Her blog (en)gender can be found online at
Boyd has been running an online group for couples since 2000,
and has spoken at many trans conferences, including the IFGE
Conference, Tiffany Club of New
England's First Event, Fantasia Fair, Southern Comfort, the
Chicago Be-All, and also at special events, like Trans Issues
Week at Yale University. Helen and Betty have appeared on The
Dr. Keith Ablow Show and spoke about GLBT marriage on PBS?
In the Life. Her writing has also appeared in anthologies edited
by Matt Bernstein Sycamore and Vern Bullough.
Helen Boyd is a nom de plume for the otherwise bookish Gail
Kramer. She graduated Phi Beta Kappa from The City College of
New York with a degree in literature and a few other awards in
tow. Her other interests - a love for the films of Buster Keaton,
punk rock, writing fiction, and the history of anthracite coal
mining in the U.S. - have taken a backseat to her study of gender.
She lives in Brooklyn with her partner Betty and their three cats.
Betty Crow is an actor and animator living in New York
City with her partner, Helen Boyd, author of My
Husband Betty. Since the book?s publication, Betty has
appeared on PBS? In The Life and been to transgender conferences
all over the country meeting thousands of trans people and their
partners. An advocate for partner issues in trans relationships,
she also appeared on All My Children - as herself.