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My Husband Wears My Clothes

Peggy Rudd, Ed. D

1990 PM Publishers

134 Pages

From the Introduction

For nine years I have been married to a crossdresser, a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing.  In the case of my husband it is frequently my clothing that is worn.   Does that seem strange to you?  I must admit that it was difficult for me to comprehend this most unusual practice.  There was a time when I wished that some morning I would wake up and the whole crossdressing situation would be gone forever.

Today the expression, "Clothes don't make the man," has a new meaning for us.   My husband is as loveable in my clothes as in his.  In fact he seems to be a more complete person when the feminine side of his personality is openly expressed by wearing feminine clothes.  For me acceptance and understanding have been accomplished by reading, interacting with others who crossdress, and being sensitive to my husband and his needs. . . .

In writing this book I am not exalting or advocating crossdressing.  My purpose is to help eliminate many of the misconceptions.  Society has been repressive.   This is because people do not understand the true feelings and behavioral patterns of crossdressers.  What people do not understand, they tend to fear, and fear breeds prejudice.  As the reader grows in awareness my hope is that tolerance and understanding will grow proportionately.  I do not expect readers to accept all of my thoughts and theories, but I do hope that this subject can be approached with an open mind.

Table of Contents

A WIFE'S INTRODUCTION TO CROSSDRESSING - Definitions of Transvestism / Are Crossdressers Gay? / Why Do Some Crossdressers Act Macho? / Are Women Sometimes Crossdressers? / The Search for Truth and Understanding / We Continue to Grow / We Keep the Courtship Alive / We Are Supportive of Each Other / We Try to Understand / We Keep the Lines of Communication Open

LIBERATION OF THE TOTAL PERSON - The New Female Image / Masculine Gender Expectations / Men and Women, Is There a Difference? / Are Women Wearing the Pants Today? / A Changed Masculine Life Script / Transvestism, One Step Out of Macho

A NEW MALE IMAGE - Resistance to the Traditional Male Role / Evolution of the True Gender Identity / Melanie's Story / Melanie's New Image

WHAT IS FEMININITY - The Gender Continuum / Femininity is Love, Caring and Nurturing / Femininity is Being Yourself / Femininity is Lace, Lingerie, Bubble Bath and Roses / Femininity is Just Being a Woman / Femininity is Becoming a Total Person

THE CROSSDRESSER AND HIS PARENTS - Questions Asked by Parents of Crossdressers / How Can Parents Help? / The Best 'Treatment' For Crossdressers / Research on Crossdressing / The Age of Humanness

IMPROVING THE MARRIAGE - Be Honest About Crossdressing / Be Patient / Help Around the House / Be Best Friends With Your Wife / Don't Forget the Husband and Wife Relationship / Help the Wife Accept Crossdressing / What Happens if She Doesn't Accept? / What is the Ultimate Goal?

THE CROSSDRESSER AND HIS CHILDREN - Maternal Instincts and the Crossdresser / My Advice to the Children of Crossdressers / My Advice to Crossdressers / Case Studies / Self Affirmation / Helping the Family Win / Winners / Losers / Things Losers Tell Themselves

THE EFFECTS OF SUPPRESSED FEMININITY - Breaking Away From Macho / Fusing the Gender Roles / The Love of Femininity / Why Do Men Become Crossdressers? / The Need to Experience Beauty and Acquire Virtue / The Need for Personality Expression / Relief from the Requirements of Masculinity / Relief from Being What Others Expect / Why Do Some Men Suppress Crossdressing?

GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP - What are the Options? / What are the Causes? / What Crossdressers Should Understand / The Last Secret

LEARNING TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND ENFEMME - Deal with your Emotions First / Help Him Feel Normal / Help Him Feel Successful as a Man / Help Him Crystalize the Feminine Side of the Personality / Love Him

HELP FROM ORGANIZATIONS - Why Wives are Afraid to Join / Some Farewell Thoughts From Betty / United We Stand

Readers' Comments


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Kathy Cloud  katcloud@hotmail.com

A truly remarkable book! As a partner to a transgendered person, I recommend this book to anyone involved in a relationship with a transgendered individual.


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hillary  cuzhil45.cs.com

Crossdressing is cultural--- men wear skirts from Somolia to India---- Suadi men wear robes and they are viscious sexists.. If women can wear pants--- why cant men wear skirts? Why-- cause women will fight convention and dress codes-- men make convention and dress codes--- menput themselves in this box.

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janelle brooks  whosoever77@hotmail.com

It is a most interesting book focused on many traditional crossdressing people, but is it not also a fact that some of us just dress to please ourselves and leave everything else out of the picture---not giving any thought to anything other than personal choice of appearence? A guy named Jan!

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cher elmquist  MC_ELM@msn.com

when i firstfound out about my husbands crossdressing was about 6mos into our marraige,well i love my husband very much but was in total shock. I ordered your book My husband wears my clothes,and read it then i sent you a letter in about 1989,well you sent me back a beautiful letter to calm my confusion & anxiety.But i need more of your guidance, he wants breasts now so i bought him the very best filets, he's also taking those hormones from sex shops and has become depressed.he knows i accept him in everyway but my anxiety level is sky high, could you please talk to me about this you are the only person i can talk to about this. Please Help Peggy. ThankYou for your support. Sincerly Cher Elmquist


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Sylvie Chappet  sylvie_downunder@hotmail.com

This is a great book to see or to buy Clother.


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Lata Devi  latadevi2002@yahoo.com

It inspired me very much. I am also a crossdressor husband. My wife helps me while crossdressing. For 25 years of our marriage, I am regularly crodressing, but only in my bedroom and secretly. Specially before sex with my wife, I wish to be a female and act female role during sex. If any, please e-mail me. Regards, Lata Devi

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Lata Devi  latadevi2002@yahoo.com

I read your book. I'm also practiced to wear my wife's clothes -- bra, pitticoat, sharee and blouse in female make-up. We have maintained secret. Besides crossdressing, our behaviour is as husband and wife. Everything is normal except during nighttime, I become wife and she becomes husband. We share experiances and I feel relaxed


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albert  albertharris799@hotmail.com

really good book ,finally someone understands


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susan  susan@msn.com

this book is very good.I want to read it.